


Supernova

by Zellepotch



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:46:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 6,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18309389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zellepotch/pseuds/Zellepotch
Summary: LIFE, according to Kim Hyerin was never easy.She didn’t start out as a pessimist, and still didn’t consider herself one, as she preferred to be termed realist. Maybe it would be best to say that she had begun life as an optimist.A blind, naïve, optimist.She was this way until her mid-teenage years. Always looking at the world with innocence and a childlike wonder, she was often the light of other’s lives, like the star in the darkest of nights.As she’d come to learn, though, every start burn out and some goa bout this quietly, others in a luminous and violent explosion of matter called a Supernova.Supernovas are the death of biggest, brightest stars.





	1. Foreword

1938  
“Mommy, I don’t want to go to your friend’s house” then six year old Hyerin pouted, clutching her mother’s hand as she skipped along the road between the two homes.   
“They have a child your age Hyerin” her mother scolded. She knew the little girl wouldn’t cause a tantrum rather that she just hated being bored.   
Hyerin brighten a bit and held her mother’s hand tighter. “Is she nice? Does she have dolls?”   
Before Hyerin could reply, the door swung open and revealed another woman about her mother’s age. To Hyerin, though, she looked something like a queen in her storybooks that her father read to her at night- tall and raven-haired, wearing a rich purple dress.   
That wasn’t anything like the dark, almost dingy queen of her own mother’s.   
Behind the other woman stood a boy, taller than her and likely older, who clung to her leg. Still, though, he peeked out just slightly eyeing Hyerin with a sort of boyish fascination.   
His mother looked between the pair and smiled softly before stepping aside, and nudging the boy forward “Jaehyungie” she began “this is Hyerin, I think you two will be good friends”  
Very softly, Jaehyung asked only Hyerin “Do you want to play?”


	2. 1942

1942

Hyerin and Jaehyung began to play every time their mothers visited. Sometimes, these visits were just for the, to play together.   
That made Hyerin feel very special.   
When the weather became warmer, Jaehyung began getting more and more fidgety as they colored pictures or played with toys inside. He signed heavily as he moved his toy boat around and looked at Hyerin.   
“I want to go outside” he announced. Before she could answer, he grabbed her hand and pulled her up to her feet. He spotted their mothers at the table then, and walked right into the room without a second thought.  
He waited for them to finish their conversation before he spoke up with a polite confidence. “Can we play outside instead? We won’t go too far and we’ll be extra careful”   
Their mothers looked between each other with a pair of knowing smiles, then turned to the children.   
“Jaehyungie, take care of Hyerin” his mother said “She’s a lady, you know”  
Jaehyung nodded quickly “I’ll be extra, extra careful with Hyerin. I promise”   
As the girl in question nodded along with her friend, her mother laughed “Go play, you two. Be back before sunset”   
With that, the pair ran out the door and down the road, with Jaehyung tagging Hyerin along.   
“Where are we going?” she shouted, trying her best to keep up with him.   
“The park!” he called back. “You know, the one down the road a little”  
He dragged her to the park and to the swings, gently pushing her towards them so she could sit down. He ran behind her and pulled back before pushing forward. Hyerin holding the chains tightly. For a short while, Jaehyung pushed the younger child on the swing, both laughing as she was swung higher.   
“Park Jaehyung!” came a shout. Hyerin looked over and spotted a group of boys, all looking Jaehyung’s age.  
The boy that shouted spoke again “What are you doing with a girl? Come play balls with us”   
Jaehyung shook his head, though his pushing on the swing got slower and weaker. “I don’t want to! I’m playing with Hyerin”  
All the boys laughed, making Hyerin blush and look away from them. She was the reason why he wouldn’t play with his friends, wasn’t she? He didn’t really want to play with her; he was just being nice.   
“Shut up!” Jaehyung shouted as he started to go pink with anger “She’s my best friend!”


	3. 1944

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your the happiness that brings me home.

1944  
Twelve-year Hyerin often liked to walk to the stream, not far from her parent’s house. Jaehyung, who had become her closest over time, would often join her as soon as he was done with his school.   
She removed her shoes and rolled up her dress at the edge of the river, letting her legs dangle in the water. “Hyerin!” come a distant shout, and again three times, before the voice’s out of breath owner came running, wearing his school uniform and carrying a small stack of books.   
He, too, rolled up his pants, then plopped in the ground next to his best friend. He held up one finger with a toothy grin and picked up one of his books.   
“My teacher said I’m the best at Japanese” he announced proudly. “So he gave me a book of stories. Can I read it to you? Please!”  
Hyerin stared between the book in the hands and his bright smile for a few moments. She then laughed, causing his smile to fade slightly.   
“h-hey” he sounded startled “Don’t laugh, why are you laughing? I’m the best”  
This only made the girl laugh harder and hold her side as it began to cramp in only the way that laughing can cause it to do. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself- everyone knew that laughing that much and that loud was unladylike.   
Not that Jaehyung cared. He was upset that his pride was at stake.   
After she’d calmed down, Hyerin looked at him with a hint of smile on her face. “You want to read to me in Japanese because you’re the best, so that means I won’t understand anything!”  
Jaehyung looked at his book – he didn’t think of that.   
Being the best… That meant no one else would understand!   
He squared his shoulders and looked at Hyerin “Then I’ll translate it for you!”  
Hyerin nodded and fell quiet as Jaehyung opened his book and held it in his lap. He spoke much slower than normal, translating every word of the story into Korean for his friend. The book wasn’t anything truly special – just a picture with a few lines on every page.   
She leaned closer and laid her chin on Jaehyung’s shoulder as he read, looking at the brightly colored pictures that went with his words.   
“...When the samurai… Returned home after…. The war…. He took into his arms the eldest…. Daughter of the fleet master….. Into his arms. He then kissed her, for... thinking of her… Had been the… Happiness that had brought him home!”  
Jaehyung finished the story and looked at Hyerin, who immediately lifted her head from his shoulder and sat up straight. He titled and smiled fondly at her. As daring as he always was, he stood up and help his hand out to the younger girl.   
She took it, only to be taken into Jaehyung’s arms and spun around, then kissed quickly.   
“Park Jaehyung!” She shrieked, covering her mouth – and – blushing with both hands.   
He smiled cheekily, proud of his effects on her, and bowed respectfully, “I’m sorry for scaring you Hyerin”   
She glared in silence, though she couldn’t battle down the butterflies in her stomach at the sight of him. He hadn’t changed at all from before he kissed her – he looked, spoke and acted all the same.   
Perhaps, it was her way of seeing him that changed.   
He took both of her hands, not bothering to hide the brightest grin Hyerin had ever seen “You’re the happiness that brings me home …. From school!”


	4. 1945

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promise to protect you.

It happened on a muggy day in July.   
Jaehyung and Hyerin went to the movies that morning – something that they revelled in, as it marked the first time that their mother’s let them go into town on their own, rather than just the silly old park.   
Parks are for the little kids anyway, they thought.   
When they got back to Hyerin’s house, her younger sister sat on the front porch, curled into a tight ball as loud sobs ripped through her body and her fingers dug into her knees. Hyerin’s throat closed into itself at the sight, tears springing to her eyes, and her hand somehow found its way to Jaehyung.   
Jaehyung reacted first, taking in a sharp breath and running to the little girl’s side, all the while tugging Hyerin along with him.   
He ran his fingers through her hair soothingly before carefully picking her up and setting her into Hyerin’s lap, to whom she instinctively clung. Hyerin hugged her sister tight and found a tear of her own slipping down her face, though she still didn’t know that was wrong.   
A strong arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her against the side of its owner. With a deep breath, she looked into Jaehyung’s glistering eyes for an answer neither of them had.   
The troubling thing was the absence of her mother. She would have been holding her youngest child just as Hyerin had been then, cooing something soothing her ear in the way that only a mother could.   
Jaehyung read the question in her eyes, the realization hitting him in a way that made him square his shoulder and put on a brave face. He let go of Hyerin and walked to her house, though his hand lingered on the doorknob as he went in, unsure of what to expect.   
He returned quickly, with less fear in his eyes than Hyerin expected to see. He bent his head to whisper to her as she still cradles her crying sister “She needs you”   
Hyerin stared at him for a moment, he gestured indoors. Faint sounds come from inside, now that the door was open – pained, heart-breaking sobs.   
A new pain hit Hyerin, she closed her eyes as her heart shattered; though she’d never heard her mother cry, the sound of her mother was unmistakable. Jaehyung bent to take her sister from her, hugging her to his chest as he made his way to the rocking chair that her mother liked.   
Hyerin looked between him, with her sister in his lap, and the door to her home.   
This, she thought, was fear.   
They called him a war hero.   
Her father’s wake was too large- too many people she didn’t know, too many men in uniforms. All of them talked to her mother, never her or her sister, but her sister clung to her mother’s leg the entire time.   
This left Hyerin on her own mostly.   
Her father, the hero, lay to rest at the front of the room, with more war heroes paying their respect to him. Hyerin’s eyes burned at the sight. They didn’t know her father like she did; they didn’t her father like she did.   
He was more than a war hero to her. He was her father that had been taken from her a lifetime too soon.   
Jaehyung’s family arrived first, just as she’d secretly hoped they would. She’d received hugs from all four of them, but Jaehyung’s lasted the longest. He held her tight against him and rubbed her black dress in a soothing manner.   
“It’s going to be okay” he whispered, eyes closed and lips brushing her ear. “I can’t be like your father, but I promise to protect you”


	5. 1947

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wont alway be here to kiss it better"

1947  
Hyerin had always been incredibly close to both her family and Jaehyung’s. Biologically, she had her mother and a younger sister. In her extended family, she had another set of parents and two brothers, one older and one younger.   
Though, maybe it wasn’t exactly right for her to be calling Jaehyung her older brother.   
The feelings he had for him left her confused, so thinking about them and sometimes, him left her with a funny feeling in her stomach and a tiny pang in her heart. She thought, maybe, that it was a love the only best friends could share.   
From her mother, she knew that having a special friend like Jaehyung was as rare as shooting star.   
She treasured Jaehyung as the most precious existing person in her world.   
Of course, she treasured her family just as much, but Jaehyung always left her… Wanting more. She desired something from Jaehyung, but couldn’t quite name what it was.   
Whatever it was, she knew that her mother would probably scold her for it.   
His voice in particular left her dizzied and simply needing him – to be with him, to touch him to be his.   
“Sinful” she sighed one afternoon, perched on her porch as she tried to sew a blanket back together for her mother.   
“What is?” Jaehyung sat beside her, distracted by the Japanese workbook in his lap. The tapping sound of his pen to the pages kept Hyerin’s sewing in time.   
“Nothing” she dismissed, then cursed as she struck with her needle.   
Jaehyung’s head snapped up and set his book aside, immediately reaching to take the sewing from her hand and cradled her hand. Her cheeks flushed and she tried to find somewhere else to look, but her eyed continued to wander back to his face.   
“You have to be more careful” he cooed as he pressed a soft kiss to the wounded finger “I won’t always be here to kiss it better”


	6. 1948

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t give up on me or you or us

1948  
At sixteen, Hyerin decided to stop denying her feeling for Jaehyung.  
It was logical, wasn’t it? She’d known him all her life and he’d matured into a handsome and intelligent young man. He even had hopes of becoming a lawyer after he’d finished with school.   
A lawyer!   
Hyerin, on the other hand, had hopes of becoming a lawyer’s wife.   
She watched him pace around the bank of the stream, hands and mouth all moving in a very animated fashion. Though she didn’t love the smooth deep sound of his voice, she (first) didn’t care for what he was talking about and (second) hadn’t any idea why it made him so angry.   
“He just gave up!” Jaehyung raged, throwing his hands up. “He’s a coward!”   
The he Jaehyung was talking about was Japan’s emperor Hirohito, the World War II leader that had surrender to the allied forces.   
Thus, Hyerin though it was ridiculous for him to be so angry. It wasn’t like Hirohito was the leader of Korea anymore. Maybe they could actually have a little peace for once.   
Jaehyung dropped to his knees in front of her and crawled closer. He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead.   
“Hyerin” he began softly, staring past her in thought, “never give up. I’ve learned that, giving up is weakness, no man that gives up dies with honour”  
She learned forward and kissed him softly “What do I have to give up, Jaehyung?”  
With a smile, he cupped her face with both hands, “Start with us, okay? Don’t give up on me or you or us”   
Again, she began laughing. Softly and more ladylike, but she always found herself laughing when he wanted to be serious. “What are you doing? You sound like you’re asking me to marry you”  
He laugh nervously and sat back to kneel in front of her. With that he dug in his pocket and produced a thin gold band with a small sparkling diamond set on top.   
Just as softly as when he first spoke to her, he said “Maybe I am”


	7. 1949

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know I’ll always come back to you”

1949  
In the early months of the next year, Jaehyung’s mother absolutely insisted on hosting an engagement part for the pair. School was out for pleasant two weeks of winter break, and all of both Jaehyung’s and Hyerin’s families drove or took the train into their little town.   
Hyerin’s family had longer to drive, having mostly situated further north than where the new couple lived with their respective parents.   
Parties gave Hyerin a case of sweaty palms and a spinning head, especially when focused on her – too many people in one place, all trying to talk to her. Their mother’s planned the entire day completely, down to the color of Hyerin’s fingernails, which curled into her palms as she looked around the Park’s large sitting room for her fiancé.   
She chuckled dryly at the thought – a party for her engagement, yet her fiancé was out of her sight.   
Suckling on her bottom lip and grimacing at the taste if the caked-on lipstick, she let out a noise that she likened to a lost puppy.   
Though, thinking further, she kind of was one.   
Frustration struck her, as she thought back to how she hadn’t seen Jaehyung since that morning. Of course, he would always be the forward one to introduce himself and Hyerin to new people, to start conversations, to ask questions… So he’d naturally be socializing with even the most distant of relatives.   
The more worried and frustrated she got, her frown deepened and her eyes glistened. As she clasped her hands together tightly, biting down harder on her lip to keep it still, she cursed how much control over her actions her emotions had.   
Where was he?   
She’d found her way out of the center of attention, as the guest began to busy themselves with each other, rather than the couple. A pair of arms snaked their way around her waist and pulled her back, into the back of the room of Jaehyung’s house, their owner’s lips pressed to her cheek.   
“What has you so upset, my angel?” Jaehyung breathed, stepping around to hug her tightly from the front “Tell me and I’ll fix it”  
“I missed you” she breathed, suddenly feeling silly for how worried she’d been.   
He flashed her a warm smile and bent hiss head closer to hers to press a soft kiss against her lips after brushing his nose over hers “You know I’ll always come back to you”


	8. 1950

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “But I’ll take care of everything”

1950  
Jaehyung begged their parents for a small wedding, on Hyerin’s behalf. She hadn’t really had to ask, instead he took note of her distaste for large crowds after their years together.   
“Honestly,” he mused, sitting across the kitchen table from his parents and Hyerin’s mother, his bride to be at his side, “It’d make better sense to save the money from the wedding for a house, wouldn’t it? And then we can have the family visit us once it’s all together”  
Hyerin nodded along to his words, more than content in letting him speak for her. He was going to be a lawyer after all. The voice of reason existed within him.   
“But don’t you want everyone to see you get married?” his mother countered gently, a frown stretched across her lips.   
His father too, had discontent written into his features as he crossed his arms over his chest, staring the couple down. “If money’s the object-“  
“It’s not the money” Jaehyung cut him off as his hand flitted around beneath the table, finger grasping at the air until they found their thinner mates in Hyerin’s. He tangled his hand into hers and gave it a squeeze.   
That tiny action was easily the most comforting thing Jaehyung could ever do for Hyerin.   
“What’s the problem?” his mother sighed, obviously not understanding their choice for a smaller affair.   
Jaehyung shrugged and took a sip of team and only Hyerin heard the hiss under his breath as it burnt his tongue “There isn’t a problem at all, it’s just out choice”  
His father narrowed his eyes “You’re stubborn” he noted, though his tone wasn’t at all condescending. If anything, Hyerin noticed a hint of pride hidden in his words.   
“That’s going to make me a good lawyer” Jaehyung countered without skipping a beat.   
“Now, Hyerin mentioned having the wedding at the lake where Grandpa keeps his boat. Do you think he’d mind?”   
Jaehyung’s mother smiled softly and let out a very ladylike chuckle, adding a shake of her hear “Your grandfather would be honoured to have your wedding, maybe even a ride on the boat would be alright”  
Jaehyung grinned and looked at Hyerin, who stared back at him with equally bright smile, albeit a bit unsure.   
Only he noticed that, though.   
“That sounds perfect” he nodded to their parents, squeezing Hyerin’s hand tightly. He then bent to kiss her cheeks but paused to add something for only her to hear “I’ll teach you how to swim, I promised”   
“It’s easy” Jaehyung begins, though Hyerin is thoroughly distracted.   
Her fiancé removed his shirt as soon as they got to the lake, barely out of his father’s car. He grasped her hand and led her down the path to the water’s edge – azure in color and sparkling like aquamarine jewellery.   
And so, the shirtless Jaehyung in a pair of red and white swimming shorts waded himself into the waters, waist deep and held his arms to his fiancé.  
“Come on you can do it”   
Hyerin frowned at the water. As pretty as it looked, she had no idea what hidden terrors could possibly be underneath, Could fish bite?   
Squaring her shoulder in her thin bathing suit, hyper-aware that she showed Jaehyung more of her skin than she’d even dared before, she stepped closer to the water’s edge. Quickly, she looked up to her smiling Jaehyung, suddenly even more timid than she was before.   
“I’m right here” he encouraged, softer this time. “Just walk to me; it’s okay”   
Slowly, Hyerin stepped into the chilled lake water, letting out a small squeal as the cold enveloped her legs. She began to hop around and almost ran through the water, to eventually collapse in Jaehyung’s arms.   
“You did it” he encouraged as he ran a hand through her hair, though she could feel his shoulder shaking with suppressed laughter as she clung to him.   
He bent to kiss the top of her head, then, and smiled into her hair “Now, let’s have you actually do the learning to swim part”

“So, tell me about your dress” Jaehyung grinned as he eyes Hyerin, who paced around the living room after what was apparently a bridal appointment gone wrong. He tried everything he already knew to calm her down, but she seemed to worked up about something for even him to fix and she wouldn’t tell him what.   
“I can’t” she argued, her tone exasperated. “Jaehyung, I just—“  
“Just what, princess?” he sighed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. He licked his lips and tried to hold onto his patience, but he felt himself wearing thin. “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong”  
Hyerin collapsed on the chair across from him and ran her hands through her hair, pulling at the find black strands. She then looked up at him with wide eyes and a flush that spread from her nose outwards.   
Then he knew.   
Jaehyung stood and crossed the room to her. He stood slightly to her left and bent for her hands, pulling her to stand with him and winding one arm around her waist as his free hand grasped hers. His head dipped down, lips against her ear, and he hummed a soft tune that he knew she loved.  
“Jaehyung…” she trailed off, though she didn’t really have a thought to complete it.   
The couple swayed around the living room, Jaehyung holding her closed and humming into her ear and, as off-key as he was, the situation pacified Hyerin’s raging emotions and worries. With Jaehyung, all was well.   
“I know you’re worried” he breathed, warm breath ghosting over his fiancé’s cheeks “But I’ll take care of everything”


	9. 1951

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I do"

1951

The wedding came far sooner than they expected.   
Everything fell into place exactly as the couple had wanted – small, at his grandfather’s lake house and surrounded by their closest family members.   
Hyerin was elated, but something still left her shaking in pure white gown.   
“Hold still” her mother cooed, hands working at the ribbon to tie her daughter into the dress “You look so beautiful”   
“Thank you” she breathed in response, letting out the big breath she hadn’t realized that she held.  
The mirror in front of her captured every fine curved of white fabric hugging the tops of her hips, then rippling out in gentle ruffles to the floor. She insisted on minimal make up for the day – a decision to look as natural as possible, since she wanted to recognize the woman marrying her beloved.   
Her sister, clad in blue, passed a bouquet of ivory roses to her as her mother stood behind her, now fitting her veil into her hair.   
Jaehyung’s father popped in, his head followed by the rest of his body, and smiled at the scene before him “We looked just about ready”   
Hyerin’s sister nodded with a bright grin “For food!”   
The room erupted in laughter, calming Hyerin’s nerves for a brief moment as Jaehyung’s father handed her a noted and a red velvet box. His eyes twinkled knowingly, and the bride took it with a gentle hands.   
“From your husband to be” he nodded “He asked me not to peek”   
Hyerin found herself smiling as the unfolded paper “But you did anyway, of course”   
Jaehyung’s father laughed loudly – a full bass sound that always pleased Hyerin, not quite the same effect as Jaehyung’s laugh but it still made her smile.   
He would be her family.   
The note, accompanied by earrings, as her mother opened the box and put them into the bride’s ears as she read, was penned in Jaehyung’s fancy cursive and smelled like his cologne.   
Princess –

No, I actually think I should call you my queen now, don’t you think? And we’ll live in a tiny castle together – it’ll be cozy and elegant and you’ll just love it. I know already.   
I also know that you’re probably nervous right now, silly girl. Remember; it’s only me, waiting for you and the rest of our lives together. Tell me those two words (You know what they are) and I’m forever yours.

I love you, Mrs. Park Hyerin. 

Her heart raced still, though the words in the notes repeated themselves in his voice to her – it’s only me – as she stood in behind the door leading to the rose petal aisle, to her husband to be.   
Jaehyung, she reminded herself. Just Jaehyung, her Jaehyung.   
Along with that, though, laid her future, waiting for her.   
Soft music reached her ears as the bridal march began. The door opened in front of her. Sunlight reached her face, but didn’t blinded her. Instead, the orange light seemed to create a path for her, shining right onto.  
Jaehyung   
Clad in the dark suit with his hair styled neatly (obviously done by his mother), her fiancé’s smile what was captured her. His eyes nearly disappeared and his lips curled up, bright expression beckoning her to him.   
Taking the steps felt like a dream. The priest’s words felt like a dream. Everything before her felt like a dream, even the man tightly held her hands, still smiling brightly.   
That is, until, he learned slightly forward and uttered the words “I do”


	10. 1952

1952

“Jaehyung please!” Hyerin laughed as she laid her hands over her husband’ which covered her eyes.   
“Don’t you trust me?” She heard the grin in his voice, closer to her ear, as he gently nudged her forward.   
As soon as it started, his hands dropped from her eyes, and he spread his arms as wide as his smile, gesturing to a small blue home in front of them.   
Hyerin stared at it with wide eyes, a hand bringing itself to cover her mouth as she too, smiled brightly. Yes, it was small, but was two stories and had pink rose planted under the front window, small enough and quaint enough for her little family.   
Jaehyung leaned and took her hand to pull her into him, one arm around her waist as his free hand settled on the growing bump that was their child, sleeping peacefully in her stomach. He dipped his head to kiss her, smile still etched into his lips.   
“He needs a better home than that apartment” Jaehyung declared, rubbing a little circle on her stomach “Three months princess. We’ll be a family”   
Jaehyung’s hand trembled when he got the mail on a December afternoon.   
A lawyers knows better than to let his composure falter, but the envelope in his hands terrified him more than a courtroom ever could.   
So innocent, the while envelope seemed. Clean, with a government emblem on it, glaring at him darkly, almost mocking him, as he stepped inside.   
He set the less offensive pieces of mail on the table and quietly slipped around the house, in search for his wife and son. Upstairs, in the baby’s room, Hyerin kneeling with him on the floor, toys…   
Life was good for Park Jaehyung.   
Fate just had to come and tear everything he loved away from him.   
He looked down at the envelope again, just realizing that he had since opened it and slipped the papers out. There wasn’t much reading required to know what it was. He knew, but he never wanted to allow it. He wouldn’t leave his wife and child.   
But he had to.   
The war in their own country raged on, but it seemed a world away as Jaehyung came and went from work, kissed his wife and played with his son, day after day, over and over and over again…  
War. Papers. Family. Papers. War. War. War. The word repeated itself, banged around his head clogged his throat, tightened his chest.   
He choked.   
“I’m going to war”


	11. 1953

Seven months without Jaehyung passed, though dragged on like it had been seven years  
Everything in their home reminded her of him. His pillows next to hers at night. His favorite coffee mug, the abandoned papers from the cases he couldn’t finish in time, even her precious son’s face.   
Jaemin, now a year old, was her only real comfort.  
He would laugh as she played with him, and she took to spending her countless sleepless nights in his room, watching his tiny chest rise and fall as he slept comfortable, completely unaware.   
Though, Hyerin though, Jaemin knew more than people gave babies credit for.  
She knew that he could feel what she did as she cradled him to her chest and kissed his little cheeks, as he smiled the same smile as the father he didn’t remember. Jaemin’s eye would stare at her for hours, fascinated by the very image of his mother, understanding what being a mother meant despite not being close to knowing the word not being close to knowing the word.   
Being a mother meant being strong for your child, despite your own broken heart.   
She refused to touch anything of Jaehyung’s things. If the war wasn’t over, Jaehyung would return. One thing of his, though, she kept with her all times.   
A single letter, written in his pretty cursive, dated two weeks after he left home. The only letter that he sent to her, short and simple, though she could hear the fear in his written tone.   
He always played brave for her. It was now her turn to play brave for him, for their son.   
She clung to her hope, and she tried to carry on as normally as possible for Jaemin. He knew something was wrong but the less he knew made it easier for her. The toddler never asked questions and for that, she was grateful.   
Still though her heart ached for her husband. For Jaemin, she wished he could see their son’s first step and words, both of which he had missed in those important first month of the baby’s life.   
Selfishly, she yearned to be held in his familiar embrace, to kiss his lips again, just to hear his voice or see his eyes again would be enough to soothe her pained heart.   
On a night after Jaemin had fallen as sleep, she sit awake in their shared bed – shared only for less than a year – fingers curled around the wooded frame of their wedding photo. The white paint began to wear and child where her fingers always pressed, and the glassed clouded where she’d run the pad of her forefinger over his grinning face.   
The feeling of his smooth skin and the memory of his smile began fading to her, as much as she would refuse to admit it. Too long without him, and her mind tried to forget in order to preserve her sanity. Though she clung to him, the thoughts slowly became wisps of memories, faint images left him behind, only remember the fleeting moments when they spontaneously crossed her mind.   
Seeing the memories in front of her, fleeting images of her husband in his chair at the table, beside her in bed, standing in her son’s room, clawed at her heart. She didn’t know how much longer she could cope with the ghost of her husband haunting her constantly, both awake and asleep.


	12. 1955

“Mommy, I don’t want to go to grandma’s house” Jaemin, now three, tugged on her shirt as she collected his clothes, folding them neatly on his bed. The little boy, clutched his favorite toy, a worn stuffed dog, closed to his chest as he pouted at his mother. Another little whine floating out of his lips, and Hyerin know that tantrum was on its way.   
She turned from the piles of clothing and knelt before him, taking his tiny hands in her own. She’d age more than she’d prefer to admit – more than anyone would dare mention – in the past three years, despite her still young age.   
Mother and son shared eye contact for a moment before Hyerin pulled the boy into her arms, cuddling him close and not daring to let him go. She lay a peck on his temple and he squealed, both grinning and giggling for just a moment.   
“We’ll go to grandma’s house for just a little while, I promise” she declared, picking up her son and setting him on the bed. Reaching for a bad to put the piles in, she gave him a playful look “Look we’ll go on an adventure”   
This sparked Jaemin’s interest.   
“Where?” he questioned immediately, leaning forward and grabbing for his mother’s hand.   
She bent to peck his nose, grinning a sweet smile that didn’t reached eyes. “It’s a magic land with a big castle, princes and princesses… it’s called California”  
“I don’t want to—“   
Hyerin held up a hand to stop her mother, though she couldn’t meet her eyes. “I have to”   
Though aware of how stubborn Hyerin could be, her mother couldn’t help but feverishly disagree with the choice her daughter decided to make. She would do anything to stop her, however impossible it could turn out to be.   
“You’re removing Jaemin from his homeland, his culture” she argued, setting her mug of tea down a bit more harshly than intended.   
Still not looking at him, Hyerin’s brow furrowed and she fiddled with her hands “There’s plenty of Korean culture in California. Lots of people are leaving for America now, while the war is dying down”  
“What about Jaehyung?”  
The difficult question.   
Hyerin should have expected it.   
With a sigh, she met her mother’s eyes briefly, then tore them away. She twirled her spoon in her own mug silently, jaw tight and eyes unfocused.   
“There hasn’t been a word two years” she concluded finally, her greatest fear evident in her lifeless tone. “I don’t want Jaemin to grow up around things he’ll never remember”   
“So you’ll just forget all about your husband?” her mother argued gently. She didn’t have to be harsh with Hyerin – the gentle and almost philosophical tone was enough to nudge her into the “right” way of thinking.   
“I won’t remarry” the girl defended. Another pause and she sighed again “I just can’t”   
Softly, her mother finished for her “… Cope with the memories”  
The women met each other’s gazes, lifeless eyes and memories of lovers lost identical.   
Two war heroes and two war widows left behind with families to care for.   
“You have my blessing” her mother concluded finally, hiding a silent tear with a bow of her head until it fell to the pool on the wooden table.   
“I like school” Jaemin shouted through giggles as he skipped along the sidewalk.  
Truth be told, Jaemin adjusted to America better than Hyerin had. The young mother lived paycheck to paycheck, and she began working at a daycare to pay the rent and bills for their little apartment to scrape together what little money she could.   
She knew miniscule English, and Jaemin had taken to the language easier than she had too. Getting by was easy enough, though, since she’d manage to get in touch with other war widows that lived nearby. Life wasn’t nearly as perfect as it was in Korea, and Hyerin missed her family – and Jaehyung’s – and the place she called home.   
That thought was quickly pushed away, though. She never allowed herself to think of Korea as home anymore -- home is California, home is America, home is where Jaemin is. Life changes in brutal instants, so she has to move on, for her son’s sake.   
She had to forget.


	13. 1956

Hyerin received a phone call from Jaemin’s preschool halfway through the day, three hours before he should have been picked. Heart racing in the moments before she answered she thought of every worst case scenario.   
Greetings exchanged, her son’s principal got to the point the quickly. “There’s a man here that claims to be Jaemin’s father? He says his name is Park Jaehyung”

With that the phone slipped right from Hyerin’s fingers.   
In front of the door of the preschool, Hyerin did all she could to catch her breath and blink back the icy tears pricking her eyes, frozen to her eyelashes by the frigid January wind.   
Taking a deep breath, though she couldn’t swallow it with the lump in her throat, Hyerin pushed the door open.   
His hair cut short, messily, as if done by unprofessional, eye sagging down in permanent tiredness, cheeks hallow, thinner than he’d ever been before.   
Nonetheless….   
Hyerin’s breath caught like it had every time those eyes met hers, and lips pulled both up and down in an awkward, tearful smile, matching his. Her heart tugged her body forward with her mind on autopilot until she was enveloped by him, his familiar warmth his chin on the top of her head as she nuzzled his shoulder, breaths and heartbeats matching each other.   
Calloused hands cupped her cheeks as he pulled away to stare at her, but only for a moment before their lips met, finally, after three years without each other’s touch.   
“Hello princess” he choked, voice breaking for the first time in all the years she’s been in love with him.   
“I missed you” she breathed back, hands roaming all over his shoulders, arms, and back, remembering the kinks and curves of skin against bone.  
“I know” he grinned softly, pecking her cheek like he always had “I never forgot you”


End file.
